She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
