My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
