I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
