K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I have fence marks all over my body
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
