i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
