i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
