so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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