well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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