so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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