I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
