she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
