so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
