Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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