brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
