So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
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