I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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