Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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