I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
