Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
