If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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