you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
