I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
