I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
