TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
