Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
