I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
