she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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