"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize