Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
