There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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