why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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