brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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