im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
