Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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