quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
