Texts From Last Night

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  (407): View more from Florida

  I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms

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  (407): I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms http://tfl.nu/rxh4
  Replies (5) Good night (822) Bad night (1190)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.

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  (201): the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called. http://tfl.nu/7ag1
  Replies (9) Good night (1026) Bad night (2578)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  we were pretty classy up until the second keg

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  (717): we were pretty classy up until the second keg http://tfl.nu/du30
  Replies (12) Good night (4668) Bad night (789)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao

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  (830): just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao http://tfl.nu/019w
  Replies (17) Good night (4101) Bad night (1221)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.

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  (817): New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft. http://tfl.nu/mqah
  Replies (13) Good night (4560) Bad night (1164)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.

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  (413): He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m. http://tfl.nu/2wu4
  Replies (24) Good night (1419) Bad night (5083)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram

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  (708): This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram http://tfl.nu/p4j5
  Replies (2) Good night (2846) Bad night (859)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?

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  (517): I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm? http://tfl.nu/cxi2
  Replies (7) Good night (3641) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.

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  (701): He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success. http://tfl.nu/xbmk
  Replies (12) Good night (4695) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..

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  (412): Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza.. http://tfl.nu/7ino
  Replies (3) Good night (694) Bad night (1067)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.

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  (425): Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am. http://tfl.nu/noe3
  Replies (1) Good night (1610) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.

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  (574): i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand. http://tfl.nu/cuvt
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (428)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover

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  (608): I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover http://tfl.nu/qezu
  Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (415)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.

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  (304): I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/rvlh
  Replies (4) Good night (737) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late

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  (515): Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late http://tfl.nu/tsxw
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (203)

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