her vagine was all disorganized.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
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Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
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Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major