Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
and you fell through a lawn chair