Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Randomize
