allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
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Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator