we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
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Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.