You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
