I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize