so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
