her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
