cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
