i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
