I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I love you. Go after that dick
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize