I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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