My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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