I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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