The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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