last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
