Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think I died a long time ago.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
