no, he came in my armpit
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
