i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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