I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
