your room smells of hookers.
And success
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
