Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
it's great music for shaving your balls
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
