Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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