I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
