how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
