yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Randomize
