dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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