If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
