I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
