So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
