Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Randomize
