i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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