Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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