Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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