is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Holy shit dude........stairs
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