i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
