I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
