oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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