i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
